welcome to my world.

The "H" is "O" (the heat is ON!!!)

2010-09-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

The Way Of Transformation.

The man who, being really on the way,
falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence,
turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort, and encourages his old self to survive.
Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself,
so that he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it,
thus making of it a "raft that leads to the far shore."

Only to the extent that man exposes himself over and over again to annihilation -
can that which is indestructible arise within him.

In this lies the dignity of daring. Thus the aim of practice is not to develop and attitude which allows a man
to acquire a state of harmony and peace wherein nothing can ever trouble him.

On the contrary, practice should teach him to let himself be assaulted, perturbed, moved, insulted, broken and battered.
That is to say it should enable him to dare to let go his futile hankering after harmony, surcease from pain and a comfortable life in order that he may discover-in doing battle with the forces that oppose him, that which awaits him beyond the world of opposites.

The first necessity is that we should have the courage to face life and to encounter all that is most perilous in the world.
Only if we venture repeatedly through the zones of annihilation can our inner light, our infinite potential, become ignited.

Why cant i sleep?

2010-08-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

I met this girl in school... and whilst we were friends, we had our respective girlfriend and boyfriend. We were friends... and the 4 of us formed a project group... fast forward 6 mths...we got our diplomas and moved on with our lives. I started work in the family business and she interned before going back for her degree.

Me and my then gf were having problems and i wanted to end things... she came to me and told me that my ex had already gotten a new boyfriend (while trying to patch things up with me)... and that i should move on. I did.

From that incident, i thought she was a righteous person... we celebrated our birthday together and realized being around each other felt so right... shouldn't we be together as an item. We did... and for almost 4 years, we dated exclusively and despite my incessant traveling for work... my time consuming passions for music and photography - we were in love and most importantly... we were happy.

I was beside her every step of the way.... i watched her graduate... land her first job... go through 6 mths of probation and officially start work - my plan of waiting to see if she would change into a different person during her student/working adult transition seemed moot.

When i thought to myself earlier this year... about marriage and whether she was the one. I actually concluded, yes she was.
Little did i know... whilst being with me... she had been chatted up by a rather suave and promising young man (other then me)
...she developed feelings for him and hid them from me...

Long story short, they are together now... the guy blogs about how much he loves her... and i am secretly happy for them. She may have turned out to be a really long mistake... but i do know people who have undergone far worse - as my friends say... i should be glad i found out before i married her. I am.

Here i am sitting alone in a hotel room in causeway bay... thinking about stuff i know i should have let go. Thinking about how its gonna be next time i fall in love... how i am going to ensure i am happier then before...
Its hard to fall asleep with all this in my head.

Maybe if i store it in cyberspace. My mind can find peace.
I think if i put it out there... it cant find its way back to me.

Min.

Dusting off the old blog.

2010-02-21T18:32:00.000-08:00

Ah well... last year i did the unthinkable and quit my family business... i've since tried out a stint in public relations and eventually found advertising. I've started a company with an old army friend - Lightmen Private Limited, dealing with LED lighting solutions and LED display panels. He plays the part of the engineering genius and i handle all aspects of marketing.

Last year in May i made my wish list... lets see what i've managed to accomplish..

Things i hope to achieve in no particular order:
1) Weight loss. with a time lapse video no less for that emotional victory. (umm.. not done)
2) Become a better Photographer. Learn more and shoot more pictures. (still not as good as i wanna be)
3) Become a better Guitarist. Learn more and play more guitar. (still not as good as i wanna be)
4) Start my own business. (Lightmen Private limited! woooot!)
5) Be Happy. (had my ups and downs... but happier overall!)

2/5 isn't what i would claim a personal victory. Im a little disappointed with myself.

Come to think about it... June 2009 till now (Feb 2010) has been a pretty kick ass journey.
I wouldn't have done anything differently. However i still do need to lose weight and improve my photography and musical skills. I still have around 3 months to set those in motion!!!!

thats it for this post and i'll leave with an inspiring quote.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others..." - Nelson Mandela

All of us are special in our own way - yes including you.

Min

Bossa Bossa the night away... then you throw that away and just make noise.

2009-05-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

Jamming with Yvonne and Simon. You may notice im not really playing much, im just trying my best to ADD VALUE to the song - without spoiling it. Also cus i think more breathing space will allow the Simon's chords to come through better.
If i tried to bang out the chords with him, it would have ended the Bossafication.

Best part has to be where Simon uses the Heaven and Earth Green Tea bottle as a shaker with me giving the voiceover... it pretty realistic man..

Old video

2009-05-28T00:42:00.001-07:00

How i spent my sunday afternoon.

2009-05-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

2 Weeks since i handed in my Resignation.

2009-05-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Two weeks has passed.

Life is still as terrible because i am still stuck in a job i do not want to be in.

However, on the positive side ive found the zest to play more Djembe, Guitar and cook more. I have since been told my Grilled meats and my Japanese curry rice are, in short, DeliCiOus - great confidence booster. (Thank you judges)

Ive done away with most soft drinks. Only water and tea products (Green Tea or Teh Oh Ping Xiu Tai) ... i dont seem to miss coke or F&N grape etc too much, which is good!

Next up will be progressively reduce my food intake, be more selective in what i eat and actually get around to a fixed exercise regime.

I tried combining exercise and photography...

so decided to walk around

and take pictures for an hour or two... but by the time i got home from work it was already 6.30pm and available light was diminishing quickly... so i walked around abit and finally resorted to driving to the seaside to capture these HDR shots.

Give up, give in... or give it everything you've got.

2009-05-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

GIVING UP:

I've always wanted to make something out of my life...

and for the past 4 years i really thought... i was doing just that.

I started my first serious job at the age of 23 when i was fresh from school...

I was a part time musician and aspiring "Business Man"

I was given the opportunity to handle responsibilities that were way beyond me.

Being able to screw up and learn from it is truly priceless.

Travelled to faraway places for work, learning their different business and local cultures.

I wasn't getting a huge paycheck ... but cant say i was poorly compensated monetarily.

So why after 4 years, at the age of 26, do i feel like a confused drone?

I always felt incompetent in my work, i do my job, but nothing i ever do is good enough for my boss.

This made my life a living hell as i struggled for almost a year to be happy with what i did for a living. On the surface, i was supposed to be living the life.

In reality, i was frustrated, demoralized, obese and hating myself more each day.

I cant sleep well at night... I'm constantly stressed with no apparent reason.

I drag myself out of bed in the morning... and into the office, slump into a heap in my desk and proceed to dig my own grave.

I realize that a life in autoparts trading is not my niche no matter how hard i try.

There comes a time when no amount of money or benefits can justify my unhappiness. Thus I did the unthinkable.

I fucking gave up.

I resigned from my job this tuesday morning at 10.30am.

GIVING IN :

What do i feel now?

Scared Shitless.

why?

Simply because i actually had the chance to stick with my job, carefully make it all the way to a well-planned exit and hop right into a shiny new beginning, and i DIDNT.

I gave in to that voice in my head that seemed to defy all common sense.

I want to start afresh and I am going to do it my way.

I want to believe in myself again. Get those creative juices flowing.

Masochistic as it may seem,

i believe all life-changing decisions are fucking hard.

The tougher route may bring fresh perspective and deeper insight

- otherwise lost if i did this in the comfort of my safety bubble.

GIVING IT ALL:

In HK movie terms... Im doing the most climatic move in a Poker table scene. The Show Hand. *gasp*

Cool thing is Im not gambling. I know this is a losing hand on the poker table.

I am relinquishing all my chips, to leave my gambling lifestyle behind.

Things i hope to achieve in no particular order:

1) Weight loss. with a time lapse video no less for that emotional victory.

2) Become a better Photographer. Learn more and shoot more pictures.

3) Become a better Guitarist. Learn more and play more guitar.

4) Start my own business.

5) Be Happy.

I have accepted my boss's request to extend my 1 month notice to a 2.5 month notice so i can do a proper hand over to my "Replacement"

( So my job isn't as simple as he says huh?)

All the best to them.

Im done.

Min.

3 November Weekends... 3 very different weekends

2008-11-24T05:03:00.000-08:00

Ok. So i crashed my car... my lovely reliable suzuki swift...

he always started energetically without complaints and stuck to the ground like a slipper.

Unfortunately a big puddle of water on the CTE disagreed with his existence and managed to slam it against the centre concrete divider (It spun another 720 Degrees and smashed into the opposite concrete divider)

After giving it much thought.

... about this much (Stretches both arms apart!!!)

I've decided to scrap it.

The repair cost was estimated to be $13,000 ...

Instead of claiming my insurance and destroying my 40% NCD and driving a car that - "Will-never-be-the-same-again"

I decided to lay it to rest so it may be reborn again.

"So the world can benefit from my devastating loss...."

I hope they can make useful things from it.

Like a bionic replacement arm for a little african girl ...

... or a Hoverboard (from "Back to the future" - im still waiting patiently for one of those.)

Obama takes the cake. :)

2008-11-06T22:49:00.000-08:00

I wonder if USA will ever have a Chinese President?
hmmm....

A friend shared a link with me... and a photographer has condensed the entire election into 4 photos.

This is Priceless....

Manila, Philippines

2008-10-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

This time it was off to Manila.

Interesting place, for the first 3 hrs, after which it became excruciatingly boring.

Poverty was apparent and the traffic conditions are painfully bad.

Bangkok and Singapore have Nothing to complain about.

Thank you for checking out the pictures.

Prime waterfront housing.

1 Horse Power

Chrome is "IN" in Philipines

Local Transportation called "Jeepneys" (Modified WWII USA Military Jeeps with surplus old isuzu engines) Very inefficient, old diesel technology means pollution and poor fuel economy. Worse part is they only fetch around 20 ppl. They need Buses badly.

I guess i would like to post some pictures of my room view - whenever available.

Heres a series of pictures showing the view at different times of the day.

In Manila it gets bright earlier in the day and gets dark around 5pm ...

Everymorning i wake up and my first thought is "HOLY FUCK I OVERSLEPT" ... it looked like it was 1 pm outside... when its only 7 am...

8 AM

Around... 5 PM i think?
6.30 PM - it gets dark pretty quickly
1 AM

Thats it for Manila. For now.

Thanks for reading.

For the month of July... (Tehran - first Day)

2008-07-28T21:56:00.001-07:00

Gave my dear driver/friend Ahmed a call to arrange airport transport.

Additional drama was provided when he didn't close his rear door properly and ejected some of our luggage on to the road at 50km/h... (excellent stuff Ahmed)

Lamb Chops + the fact that it was served on a sword and eaten with bare hands.
= Uber-Tasty-Warrior-Lamb-Chops.

For the month of July...

2008-07-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

Finally got some time to put up these...

The end of Day One...

And here we go again...

2008-07-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

Off i go on one of my little trips again...

This time its Dubai and Iran.

heres some shots of my new leica M8! an amazing range finder camera.

im barely taking shots that do it justice... but i try...i try...

Another shot during my transit at Bangkok, to Chennai and finally Dubai.

Now im in Tehran (IRAN) and.. its a beautiful country... ive got tonnes of pics done up in my irritating comic fashion... those will come up once i have time.

Good night.

wtf is going on?

2008-07-07T01:44:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... havent posted anything since i got back from Dubai ... i practically hit the ground running.

There are a few aspects of my life right now:

WORK - ( Looking pretty good, feeling absolutely shitty. )
I may be posted to Sri Lanka to open a subsidiary company soon. On top of increasing amounts of work and customers to handle. End of this month i'll also have to go to Iran and Sudan... i hope the added business is worth it. Once im back... i'll have to plan my Sri Lanka trip to incorporate the new company and do the ground work.

MUSIC -
Been playing around with various bands for a long time... ive never really wanted to be a star. Maybe thats why im so lazy in music...
I enjoy just gigging around... jamming and enjoying the music.
If people singalong and clap ... it makes it extra special.

Sadly all that will come to a standstill when i go to Sri Lanka. I had to think really hard about what compromises i had to make for this opportunity, time with my girlfriend, my hobbies, my life.... argh..
My Sri Lanka venture better fucking pay. It better pay well.

Im thinking if theres a music scene in Sri lanka? ...
Maybe fellow expatriate rockers ...hmm...

GIRLFRIEND -
My girl.. haiz.. its gonna suck being away for so long. ESPECIALLY since im not really into Ebony (LOL) oh well... at least we'll finally get a chance to enjoy the beaches of Sri Lanka. Make sure you visit often k?

Next time.. im gonna take some pics of my latest doings... my new watches... my new self finished guitar...hurhurhurhur

2008-06-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

ahhh... sunny morning... (duh.. there's virtually no rain in Dubai...)

exhibition is over... all work matters cease to exist until i return to office on friday.

i woke up late, had a quick breakfast and took a quick dip in the pool... i out of the sun in 30mins... i could literally feel my skin burning off.... the sun here... is really nasty.

i'll post pictures from yesterday and the day before... i didn't have the time/energy to process what i took... so here it is...

Day 4 in dubai...

(day 3 of exhibition)

Day 5 ... if you realize.. most of the pictures are taken after work hours... as i really dont have time to run around snapping pix during the exhibition... after the end of automechanika dubai... we tore down the booth deco, packed it.. and sealed it back in the wooden crate.

sent if off around 8pm. by the time we finished dinner... all we wanted to do was sleep..

day 5 in dubai...

today is day 6... i fly back home tommorow morning!! woo hoo!!!

i miss Amanda so much... haizzz.. baby im coming home ok? love you!

im gonna go for the desert safari later... will take alot of pics... i probably will never go for it again in this life. i'll post pics up tonight!

min.

Day three in Dubai.

2008-06-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

Well .. its my bloody third day in dubai... the exhibition is really wearing me down... ive been talking non-stop... standing for hours on end... i shook hands with about a hundred people today. The air is very dry... and no matter how much water i drink. IM STILL parched.

The hall security refused to let us bring in more then 1 litre of water per exhibitor badge. i was carrying 6... -_-" i dropped the extra bottles outside....

me and my colleague walked in with 2 bottles at another hall entrance twice.

The second day... "SETUP DAY"

2008-05-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

Our booth is like a clean canvas...

... quietly waiting for my skillful hands to paint it a certain shade of awesome....

Reusing 4 year old exhibition materials used in previous shows....

i had nothing new to work with...

i needed to make full use of every ounce of resources to make this work...

all i need to do now is to get my stuff out from our crate and i shall create a.... OMFG...

Truly a day of ups and downs... my booth colour scheme is blindingly 80's

and strangely... reminds me of that evil old twat in "101 Dalmatians"

Tomorrows gonna be awesome. i just know it.

A day in Dubai part 3

2008-05-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

Seriously.. Dubai kinda reminds me of the states...

1) Almost all front line jobs taken up by indians, chinese or filipinos...

2) Air is dry as hell...

3) Plenty of kick ass cars on the road. PLENTY.

4) The Malls look the same...

5) Service staff attitude suck ass.

And... thats pretty much it for today (30th May 2008)

I must say .. ive really maximized my time today... excellent.

Some facts about Dubai worth noting:

Time difference is 4hrs behind singapore.

Flight time is around 7 hrs.

1 Singapore dollar = 2.63 Durhams.

A day in Dubai part 2

2008-05-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

Its about time to head back and check in to my room....

A day in Dubai Part 1

2008-05-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

ok.. so im here for the 2008 Dubai Automechanika... tomorrow i begin setting up my booth.

So today... im pretty much free. Did some exploring... some shopping...

Just moving in... "Excuse moi..."

2008-05-28T20:36:00.001-07:00

ok i confess... i have no idea what the next step of "blogging" is...

I see a big white text field on my screen which is simply great.
Its inviting me to type something random.

so...

i have decided on "Times New Roman" for my official font, simply because it makes everything i type seem factual and important...

:)